BREAKING: Boating accidents SWEEP California day before AW registration deadline!

The last day in which California gun owners could register their bullet button equipped firearms as newly and arbitrarily defined “assault weapons”, reports of hundreds, if not thousands, of tragic boating accidents began coming in from up and down the Golden State's coastline and waterways.

 

A statewide event called the "Great California Pre Assault Weapon Registration Fishing Trip", organized by Barry Bahrami of the Veto Gunmageddon campaign which attempted to halt the registration and ban via referendum in 2016, was originally meant to be one last day of gun owners coming together and enjoying their bullet button equipped firearms, but turned catastrophic when participants began sending out distress calls.

 

"It's truly... truly tragic," Bahrami said in a prepared statement. "My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected by these events. It's an incredible loss."

 

"I couldn't believe it... the one time I decide to take my guns fishing with me," said one man who asked to remain anonymous, rescued from Pillar Point Harbor outside Half Moon Bay. “This was my only baby that was spared," he said, patting what appeared to be an AR15 with an odd-looking stock.

 

Some weren't so lucky. The myriad of accidents has also hit California's lakes, rivers, and streams.

 

"I lost everything... it took my guns, my ammo, my magazines..." said a man who identified himself as Doe Publius, looking out over Woodward Reservoir just north of Oakdale. "That lake is a tyrant."

 

Others were less than forthcoming. One boat washed up onto a beach in Oceanside with partial damage to its name that left it reading ".......Your Feelings". Its captain, a Greek man wearing a cape and an eye patch would only answer questions with, "Am I being detained?"

 

Accidents were reported as far south as San Diego Bay, where the San Diego Chapter of the Pink Pistols was holding its 1st Annual LGBT Rod and Guns meet up to celebrate the end of Pride Month in conjunction with the statewide event.

 

"It's devastating," said Piper Smith, founder of the SD Pink Pistols, "but the loss of our firearms will only make us stronger and bring our community closer together." She vowed there would be a 2nd Annual meet up.

 

California Attorney General Xavier Becerra stated his office would be rigorously investigating any allegations of lost or missing firearms.

 

"Lying to an investigator about guns is a misdemeanor offense with a 10 year ban on owning firearms," said Becerra.

 

Craig DeLuz, spokesman for Firearms Policy Coalition, responded via a Facebook video stating in part, "These people are victims, and the DOJ wants to victimize them again simply because these accidents involved their fundamental right to keep and bear arms."

 

California lawmakers were quick to act, hastily writing SB 556, the "Common Sense Boating and Fishing Safety Act", which would prohibit the possession of firearms, ammunition, and ammunition feeding devices on or around California waterways while exempting park rangers, Fish & Wildlife, and other government employees.

 

"Nobody needs bullets to catch a fish," said co-author Anthony Portantino, State Senator from La Canada Flintridge.

 

"It's a clear violation of the people's civil rights," DeLuz countered.